


Fuckboys of Summer

by EverSquirrely



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Banter, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Glenn Fraldarius Lives, Hand Jobs, M/M, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:34:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26037973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverSquirrely/pseuds/EverSquirrely
Summary: What's better than being surrounded by your friends and loved ones over summer vacation? Good conversation, good company, unresolved sexual tension with your childhood best friend, and all manner of agents of chaos to escalate everything!Dimitri is having a tough time coping with the fact that Felix and he never had a damn conversation after their cuddles from last summer, and now Felix is twice as hot and Dimitri still has no idea what to do. Glenn is still loud, Ingrid is still attentive, Sylvain is still unpredictable, and Dimitri can't get a read on Felix through all of his snark.It all culminates to Dimitri waking up his first night from a lovely dream with a raging boner. Well - it's going to get dealt with one way or another.Banter abounds!Modern AU! Glenn/Ingrid and past Felix/Sylvain featured too. Dimilix NSFW Bingo!
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 13
Kudos: 48
Collections: Dimilix NSFW Bingo





	1. The Pining

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclosure, I set out to write for the DimilixNSFWBingo, and apparently I got tied up in a shit-ton of a banter. Let's be real, for Free Space, banter is my kink XD
> 
> Chapter 1: The Pining  
> Chapter 2: The Unwelcome Boner  
> Chapter 3: The Good stuff  
> Chapter 4: The Afterglow
> 
> I hope you enjoy! :D

Just nerves, Dimitri reminded himself. Innocent, harmless little nerves. And there was no reason for nerves. Every year, he rode this same train from Fhirdiad to Fraldarius to spend the summer with the family. It was as much home as the townhouse his parents bequeethed him in Fhirdiad.

But the closer Dimitri came to seeing Felix, the more agitated his nerves became. Dimitri treasured the warm caresses and stolen kisses from last summer, but not a word had been said since. Dimitri had no idea if Felix still felt - or ever felt - the same way.

Unfortunately, the questions tumbling in his mind would need to wait a little longer.

He saw Glenn’s car parked just outside the train station. Glenn, Ingrid and Felix poured out the moment he reached the bottom of the ramp.

“Damn, Dima, did you get bigger?” Glenn scrutinized him. Glenn used to seem so imposing, but Dimitri may be taller than him now. 

“I’m told my father also kept growing into his twenties,” Dimitri embraced Glenn. “So good to see you!”

“Dimitri!” Ingrid circled the car quickly, throwing her arms around his waist the moment she could. “Thank the Goddess you’re here! I need you to take the edge off of these snarky man-children.” Ingrid squeezed him uncomfortably tight. “We’ll say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ instead of ‘assface’ and ‘screw you.’ We’ll actually be able to compliment each other without snide remarks.”

Dimitri laughed, returning the hug. “I do love what you’ve done with your hair. Very practical, very elegant.”

Ingrid seized his hand intently. “You’re a beautiful fucking unicorn, and if either of these primitive apes tries to hurt you, I will personally destroy them.”

Such a wonderful friend to have. “I missed you too, Ingrid.”

Dimitri’s eye pulled to Felix like a magnet. He wore a fitted black V-neck with blue jeans, hair bound in his signature bun. The memory of Felix lazing against Dimitri’s chest as they stretched across the couch in sweatpants warmed Dimitri’s cheeks.

Dimitri had prepared to wait for some time before he could speak with Felix alone. Dimitri had not, however, been prepared for how Felix fit into his skinny jeans

Felix held out his arms awkwardly, and Dimitri pulled him in for a hug. Before, Felix seemed willowy and light. Now, Felix filled Dimitri’s embrace. Dimitri had to resist the temptation to rest his chin on Felix’s head.

“Your hair got long,” Felix observed as he drew away. 

“I ran out of time to cut it before I left,” Dimitri admitted. He traced his fingers over the blond ends that drew just to his shoulder. “I’m certain it looks shaggy.”

A crooked smile caught the edge of Felix’s lips. “You don’t look terrible.”

Dimitri swallowed. He tried to find any casual observation to return the compliment, but Dimitri wasn’t even sure what had changed about Felix. He just looked _good._

Ingrid interrupted with a groan. “See? It’s only snark, snark, snark! Felix is incapable of giving compliments.” Rolling her eyes affectionately, she added, “You look relaxed. Your hair is perfect for summer.”

Dimitri, however, knew that Felix’s compliments came in three flavors. The first were his teases, like when he played with Dimitri’s fingers and said, “No wonder you break everything you touch. Your hands are enormous.”

The second flavor were his accusations, like when Felix insisted on lying back against Dimitri’s chest when they were watching TV, because “your face is too distracting.”

And the third, when Felix knew he should be paying a compliment, but he couldn’t assemble the words, so instead, he said, “You don’t look terrible.”

“Alright, herd,” Glenn interrupted, voice booming like an army officer. “We need to move. Dad made a dinner reservation within 10 minutes of our ETA, so thank the Goddess your train was on time. If you have to piss, do it in the car.”

“Is he joking?” Dimitri whispered.

Felix shrugged.

“He’s probably joking,” Ingrid whispered. She encouragingly touched his shoulder.

Once on the road, Glenn plowed through “the plan.” The so-called “youths” had a cabin, while Rodrigue had opted to stay in a spa with the “other oldies.” They were going to meet Rodrigue for dinner, then “ditch the old man” so that the “youths” could “light it up.”

“Light it up?” Dimitri dropped his head back. “After the year I’ve had, I could probably fall asleep standing up.” Dimitri’s penultimate semester at University had been thoroughly packed with coursework. He had so much he wanted to achieve, but unfortunately that didn’t allow much time for sleep.

“Don’t tell me you’ve gone soft,” Glenn chided. “I’ve seen you run ten miles after midnight to ‘sneak it in.’”

“Hey,” Ingrid said with a warning tone. “Are you bullying my sweet, precious unicorn?”

“Right, right,” Glenn backed down. “Sorry Di, You can take a load off. Would it bother you if we met up with Sylvain? He said he’ll be in town.”

“Why would I be bothered?” Dimitri couldn’t hide his surprise. “Sylvain comes to Fhirdiad a couple of times a year. I’m very used to his antics.”

Felix sighed. “He’s mostly warning me I think.”

That’s right; when Rodrigue had called Dimitri earlier that week, he mentioned that Felix and Sylvain had dated for a few months. Or rather, Rodrigue had issued a discreet warning that “Felix had changed.” Rodrigue painted a picture of Felix “acting out,” pointing to Felix and Sylvain’s “fling.”

Rodrigue finished his speech with a sigh. “I know you two have been friends for a long time. So just be patient with him. It might catch you off-guard, how much Felix has changed.”

If the changes Rodrigue meant were that Felix was taller, broader, and more confident, then yes, it absolutely caught Dimitri off guard. Otherwise, Felix burned with the same ferocity that Dimitri had always admired.

Felix’s sharp voice interrupted his thoughts. “Glenn’s been weird ever since Sylvain and I dated.” 

Glenn shrugged awkwardly. “I know exes get weird!”

“We were friends first, we’re friends now,” Felix snapped. He rolled his eyes to Dimitri. “He doesn’t believe me.”

“I don’t believe him,” Glenn confirmed.

Ingrid leaned back conspiratorially. “Personally, I think it’s because he doesn’t have any exes.”

“And I hope I never have one,” Glenn said warmly.

“I think it’s because he’s a straight guy,” Felix said.

“Sylvain and Felix just bicker nonstop!” Glenn shook his head, muttering, “It’s like two insult comics at amature hour, for fuck’s sake.”

After a pause, Dimitri remarked, “But how, exactly, is that different from before they dated?”

The car erupted in laughter.

“Okay, fair,” Glenn said. “But I can’t be the only one who can’t tell the difference between the ‘Felix doesn’t mean it’ insults and the ‘Felix definitely means it’ insults.”

“Really, Glenn?” Ingrid interjected. “Are we just going to pretend that you didn’t call Felix a bag of dicks this very morning?”

“What? He was being a bag of dicks, Iggs, he needed to know.”

Dimitri smiled, shaking his head. “I’ve known all of you for years. I know you only say such things out of love.”

“Yeah, assface,” Felix said, flipping Glenn the bird. “He knows I’m doing it out of love.”

“What a fucking bag of dicks,” Glenn said helplessly. “I should have beat him up more as a kid.”

Felix rolled his eyes with an indulgent smile. “Brother of the fucking year.”

Dimitri enjoyed the relaxed, easy way they insulted one another. Felix never backed down. Still, Dimitri could see the softness hovering on the edge of Felix’s smirk, flickering like a fireplace. “Such a beautiful love you two have,” Dimitri replied warmly.

* * *

“Alright,” Glenn’s voice boomed through the small cabin. “Kitchen right here, over on the left is the master bedroom. That’ll be me and the impossibly gorgeous blonde-”

Ingrid sighed. “I guess that’s you Dimitri!”

Ingrid may have tried to walk down the hall, but Glenn caught her waist and lifted her up. Ingrid made a surprised sound that could only have been described as “Fragh” before laughing easily.

Glenn smirked. “Say, Iggie, what was that earlier? Something about snark, snark, snark?”

Ingrid dropped her head back to look up at him. “Too much time with you I suppose!”

Glenn stole a kiss. “Not enough if you ask me.”

She playfully shoved him off of her as she regained her footing.

“Are you done being a fucking Hallmark movie?” Felix crossed his arms.

“Right.” Glenn cleared his throat, collecting his authoritative tone as he started down the hall. “You lonely bachelors each have a room down this serial killer hallway.”

Felix caught Dimitri’s eye. “Which of us do you think is the serial killer?”

“Come now,” Dimitri replied. “It could easily be both of us.”

The smirk Felix gave him sent Dimitri’s stomach through the ceiling.

Glenn continued down the hall on the tour, unperturbed. “Here’s the second bathroom halfway down, and all the towels are in a linen closet right here across-”

“You sound like Dad,” Felix whined. He tossed his duffle bag in one of the bedrooms, stretching languidly. “Next he’s going to tell us where we take the trash and recycling.”

Glenn grinned evilly. “Actually I was going to ask if you’re clubbing with your thigh highs, Fe.” 

Felix turned brilliant red. He glanced at Dimitri from the corner of his eye. “He thinks he’s funny.” He sneered to Glenn, “I got them for work, dumbass.”

Even more mysterious. Wasn’t Felix studying software? “Where on Earth do you work that requires boots that high?” Dimitri mused.

Glenn’s howling laugh and the darker red on Felix’s cheeks suggested Dimitri had missed some innuendo.

“I work at the Renaissance Faire in the fall,” Felix snapped. “I play a character-”

“Sir Reginald Foreskin,” Glenn teased, still laughing.

Felix dropped his head back, rolling his eyes. “For _sythe_ , you idiot.” To Dimitri, he clarified, “I perform sword fights, I slice fruit for demonstrations, and I work in the armory where I can explain how swords are designed and forged.”

“All the while wearing tight pants and thigh highs,” Glenn finished gleefully.

Felix swiped at Glenn’s shoulder. Glenn dodged, shoving Felix roughly into the wall. 

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” Dimitri realized nearly immediately he probably should clarify. “I’m glad you have an opportunity to share your knowledge of swords.”

“That’s it, Dima, you’re never going back to Fhirdiad.” Ingrid trapped Dimitri in a hug. “I need you. You have such a pure, lovely energy.”

Hardly pure, but Dimitri accepted the compliment graciously.

“There, see? You think you’re making fun of me, but there’s no damn joke,” Felix snapped.

“Okay, but you at least have to show him the pics,” Glenn said. “I’ll drop it if you show him the pics.”

Felix rolled his eyes, digging out his phone. “They have a professional photographer come through to take promotional pictures,” he muttered. He passed Dimitri his phone, avoiding his eye. “There.” Sighing, he added, “Reginald Forsythe.”

The photos were sharp and clear on a sunny autumn day. The first few were of Felix standing behind a counter of swords, cradling a blade in his gloved hands as he described it. Dimitri wondered if Felix’s furrowed brow and focused expression signalled to others his passion of the topic as clearly as Dimitri saw it. His hair was bound in a ponytail instead of his usual bun, and he wore a hat with an enormous feather.

How did Felix look so damn good? Such sweeping lines on the profile of his face, such a defined point to his jaw.

“Incredible photos,” Dimitri observed, flipping through.

“Have you gotten to the action shots yet?” Glenn asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No, I don’t believe…” Oh. Those were appreciably tight pants. Felix crouched low in a sword fighting stance in a few of them. Even more than Felix’s skinny jeans, his costume emphasized the lovely swell of Felix’s backside from his thickly muscled thighs. Dimitri cleared his throat, trying for a joke. “Come now, my running pants are tighter than that.”

“See?” Felix hissed. “Easier to move in.”

Was it strange that the image of his friend pointing a sword directly at the camera with a threatening look made Dimitri’s crush worse, and not better?

Was it strange that they had spent so much time draped over each other last summer, but Dimitri didn’t remember his blood boiling as rapidly as it did now, when his fingers brushed Felix’s to return the phone?

Dimitri felt like a damn teenager again.

“It looks wonderful. Truly.” Dimitri could only keep Felix’s eye for a moment. He feared some of the longing snuck into his voice. “I’m so happy you have found a way to enjoy what you love.”

The moment lingered. Dimitri hoped his smile came off as easy and warm, rather than the multitude of nerves that lingered in his spine.

“So, Dima, are you coming?” Ingrid asked. “To the club?”

“I don’t know,” Dimitri murmured.

“I have no doubt you would be swarmed with dance partners in no time,” Glenn said. He must have thought that was encouraging. “You look like fucking Captain America.”

Felix smirked. “Acts like it too.”

Perhaps Dimitri’s categories for Felix’s compliments were too vague. This one almost felt like a bit of all three. Felix caught Dimitri’s eye imploringly.

Maybe it would give Dimitri an opportunity to catch Felix, one-on-one. Maybe to see if Felix felt it too.

“Fine,” Dimitri relented. “But I can’t promise to light anything up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tune in next time for Dimitri living out everyone's worst nightmare when he's facing his crush, half-naked with a raging boner.
> 
> My mom would be so proud XD


	2. The Unwelcome Boner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Sex Comedy, squint for Something Sexy with Swords

Of course. Of course such a long day ended with Dimitri waking up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat with a full erection begging for release.

Dimitri had even left the club early. It became clear the music was too loud to talk, and Felix moving to the music inflamed Dimitri’s struggle against “unresolved desires.” Dimitri had decided an evening alone and good night’s sleep would probably help far more.

And it probably would have, if Dimitri’s dreams behaved. Instead, his mind turned over how Felix moved, blending it with last summer’s caresses and cautious kisses. Even the thigh high boots and sword had made an appearance - though, no tight pants to speak of. Dimitri’s yearning churned them together into an overwhelming urge to _feel_ Felix. Every damn inch, or until he felt satisfied.

To make matters worse, his room in the cabin did not include any tissue.

What time was it? Had the others returned? Fortunately, the hall stretched long enough and dark enough that Dimitri could steal into the bathroom without being seen. He tiptoed down the hall, seeing no one. His hand hovered over the bathroom doorknob, jolting back when he saw it turn.

The door opened to Felix, naked but for a threadbare blue bath towel around his waist. Damp tendrils of his dark hair hung loose over his sloped shoulders, and an electric toothbrush buzzed in his mouth. Felix nearly stepped into Dimitri before looking up.

“Oh,” Dimitri stammered. The clean ridge of Felix’s collarbone drew Dimitri’s tongue to his lips. “So sorry, I’ll come back.”

Oh no. Felix glanced down.

A furious fire burned on Dimitri’s face, originating from his treacherous groin. He covered his not-insignificant bulge quickly. “It’s not what it looks like,” he grimaced.

Felix raised an eyebrow. How was he so calm? He paused his toothbrush and pulled it out. “Good dweam?”

Dimitri rubbed his face miserably. “Maybe it’s exactly what it looks like…”

Felix just shrugged. “Whadever. Juss a sec.” He pointed behind Dimitri.

Oh, right. The linen closet. Dimitri side stepped awkwardly, aware of how acutely he could smell Felix’s shampoo. Coconut and shea butter, he suspected. He was equally aware how curiously his arousal strained against his briefs. He couldn’t even watch the ropes of Felix’s bicep without his mouth drying out. Felix groped in the cabinet, eventually grabbing a hand towel.

“FEEEELIX!”

Wait, did Dimitri recognize that voice? “Is that…”

Felix turned as Sylvain burst clumsily down the hall. Dimitri ducked behind Felix, making himself as small as possible.

“Thank the Goddess you’re done,” Sylvain said. Though not slurring or stumbling, Sylvain had a “freeness” to his movements that Dimitri recognized immediately as Drunk Sylvain. “I need the bathroom. Now.”

“Whad the fug!” Felix tried to protest through his toothpaste, but it was too late. The door latched and locked behind Sylvain. Felix struck it with his fist.

“In a sec, yeesh,” Sylvain snapped. “So impatient!”

Felix threw up a hand in frustration, striding to the kitchen. Dimitri heard the faint sound of the sink, then Felix calling for Glenn. Felix returned to bang on the door. “I hadn’t even spit, asshole.”

“Wait, weren’t you a swallow guy?”

Felix’s face burned a brilliant red, and Dimitri almost certainly followed suit. “You idiot, no one swallows toothpaste!” He slapped the door one more time, before slumping against the wall next to it.

Dimitri suspected his dream had not done justice to how beautifully shaped Felix’s torso had become. The strong desire to feel Felix shivered across his skin. Dimitri flattened himself against the linen closet. Would it be more awkward to slip back into his room, or to wait in the hall with his hands over himself?

Honestly, Dimitri wasn’t certain his body would move if he willed it.

Felix’s sigh came out tense and annoyed. “Sylvain showed up just when we were about to leave. It wasn’t long before he was recklessly drunk, and Glenn and Ingrid didn’t look so great either. I dragged the fools back, gave them water, and put on the TV.” Felix put a hand to his forehead.

Dimitri cleared his throat. “Understandable.”

“I didn’t blow my ex,” Felix muttered, cheeks pink again.

“Also understandable,” Dimitri blurted out.

Felix laughed at that. That offered some comfort.

The bathroom door unlocked, and Sylvain poked his head out. “Hey, Fe, there aren’t any towels.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Felix held up the hand towel he had collected. “You can have this one.”

Surely Felix had planned for Sylvain to take the hand towel. Perhaps Sylvain didn't see it, and instead stole the bath towel from Felix’s waist, slamming the door. “Thanks man!” Sylvain called through the door.

“Fucking HELL!” Felix scrambled to cover himself with the much-smaller hand towel. “You’re a goddamn prick, Sylvain,” he hissed.

It probably took Dimitri longer than it should have, but he covered his eyes. Certainly, it was the polite thing to do. But also, seeing Felix’s thighs and hips provided absolutely no relief for Dimitri’s current problem.

Felix muttered something quietly. A pause, and Felix muttered again. Dimitri couldn’t quite make it out. Finally, Felix snapped, “Dimitri.”

Dimitri meekly met Felix’s eye.

“Can you hand me a towel?” Felix’s voice wasn’t sharp so much as resigned. “From that… closet thing behind you?”

Dimitri stayed frozen a moment too long. “Sorry, sorry, yes,” he said, quickly turning and opening it. The first one he fished out was another damn hand towel, so he swore and shoved it into the back. “Sorry, I just woke up, and I’m flustered, I’m embarrassed-”

The second was a bright pink beach towel with leopard spots. Dimitri nearly shoved it back in, but Felix gruffly snapped, “That’s fine.”

Dimitri held it out, covering his face. “I know I’m making everything worse.”

“You’re fine,” Felix muttered. He wrapped the garish thing around his waist tightly. “But I might murder Sylvain.” Felix banged on the door once. “I’m calling you a cab, asshole.”

Sylvain’s voice sang back, “Thanks cocksickle!”

“Oh that motherfucking piece of shit…” Felix started towards the living room. “Oh, right, fuck fuck fuck...” Felix quickly reversed direction, and he nearly charged into Dimitri on his way to his room.

Once the hall was empty, Dimitri drew in a long, steadying breath. The tension gradually eased, the tumult of heightened arousal started to abate.

Damn. Felix looked good. Broad and lean and toned. Dimitri wandered into the kitchen to splash his face with cold water. Damn. The line from Felix’s shoulders to his hips was a plunging triangle. No, no good - Dimitri turned the water back on, shoving it to the coldest setting and letting it chill before wiping his head and neck. There. The tide was turning in Dimitri’s favor. He should probably have a drink of the coldest water he could manage, for good measure.

The fridge had an ice dispenser, so Dimitri filled a pint glass to the top with cubes. He waited impatiently for the slow stream of filtered water to fill it.

Felix’s furious footsteps came down the hall. Dimitri urged his glass against the dispenser to rush it, but the cheap plastic snapped and halted the stream outright. When Dimitri tried to catch the plastic fragment, he tipped the glass and sent most of the contents down his front, ice cubes skittering across the floor.

Dimitri’s now wet T-shirt and sleep shorts stuck to his abdomen and crotch, the extremely cold water clinging to his skin.

Well, that was one way to handle an unwelcome erection.

Felix stormed in, quickly enough that his hair lifted behind him. He wore a heather grey tank top and navy blue boxer briefs. Of course the first thing Dimitri noticed was how well-fitted everything seemed. The second, how “supportive” the boxer-briefs seemed. And the third, how positively ridiculous Dimitri must look. 

By some grace, Felix didn’t seem to notice him. He just swore under his breath as he dug a phone out of Sylvain’s blazer on the kitchen counter.

Dimitri carefully set down his mostly empty glass, setting to work collecting the ice cubes from the floor.

“There had to be an easier way.”

Dimitri glanced up to see Felix smirking as he peered over the counter at him. Dimitri must have been a sight, hunched like a gremlin collecting ice cubes.

“I was trying to, uh, get a glass of water,” Dimitri sighed. “The damn thing just broke, snapped right in my hands. It startled me, so...” Dimitri gestured lamely at the mess.

“You broke the fridge?” Felix glanced up, presumably seeing the sad bit of plastic set in a puddle of water on the dispenser. Felix reached over to grab Dimitri’s glass, filling it from the tap. “There you go, brute. Can’t have you breaking the kitchen sink.” 

Dimitri blushed a brilliant red, tossing the last ice cubes in the sink. “Thank you,” he murmured, rubbing the back of his neck.

Felix hardly looked at him, his focus set on the phone. “Okay. We only have 5 minutes until we’re free of him.” Felix buried his hands in the waves of his hair. “What a clusterfuck. Not only does Sylvain lock me out and steal my damn towel, but he’s still in there, and my pajamas are trapped with him.” His sigh grated with frustration. “It’s not like I brought extras. Shit, knowing my luck, he’s somehow set them on fire or thrown them out of the window.” Felix slumped onto the counter.

Dimitri resisted the strong urge to push Felix’s hair from his face. “I’m just grateful that absolutely nothing embarrassing or noteworthy happened to me tonight,” Dimitri replied evenly.

Felix snickered. He glanced up through messy hair, eyebrow incredulous. “That had better have been sarcasm, because the puddle in front of the fridge might disagree.”

The laugh bubbled out of Dimitri. The movement plastered his drenched shirt against new spots of skin, but Dimitri didn’t care. It felt so good to laugh. “That was the part you found embarrassing?” he stammered.

A smirk cracked Felix’s face. “Please. I have a loud brother and I date men. Random boners are not ‘noteworthy.’” He leaned in as though sharing a secret. “Bonus points if you have no idea how the fuck you got a boner during _that_ dream.”

Dimitri felt fairly assured Felix had not meant that remark to be sexy. Dimitri’s body disagreed.

“Mine wasn’t much of a mystery,” Dimitri replied, not keeping Felix’s eye.

Fortunately, it didn’t matter that a silence followed. The bathroom door opened, and both of them straightened up. Dimitri hadn’t realized how far he had leaned forward.

Sylvain moaned lazily as he stretched his arms. “My man Di!” Sylvain said with a big goofy grin. “Sorry we woke you up!”

“I swear to the Goddess you’re an idiot,” Felix hissed. “Did you really JUST notice he’s here?”

Felix stiffened when Sylvain pinned him in an embrace. “Thanks for being a good sport about me stealing the bathroom,” Sylvain teased. Felix glowered as Sylvain rocked him back and forth. “I know I’m annoying the Hell out of you, and you smell so good, and you haven’t murdered me, and I really appreciate it…”

Felix only grunted, but Sylvain seemed satisfied. Sylvain grinned again at Dimitri. “Did you wake up when Felix kept banging on the bathroom door?”

“He got to see my dick when you stole my fucking towel!” Felix snapped.

Realization dawned on Sylvain’s face. “Oh shit, I stole your towel!”

“YES.”

To Sylvain’s credit, he seemed sincerely remorseful. He murmured apologies over and over, stammering that it wasn’t cool. He also crossed the kitchen to trap Dimitri in a shockingly authoritative hug. “I’m the worst, the absolute worst. I’ll make it up to you both!”

Dimitri forgot how “huggy” Sylvain was when he was tipsy. He hardly seemed bothered by the not-easy-to-miss wet spot on Dimitri’s front.

Everyone visibly jumped when Sylvain’s phone vibrated.

“Your ride is here,” Felix said flatly. He shoved Sylvain’s phone and blazer into his hands.

“Thanks, Fe!” Sylvain stole a quick kiss on his cheek. “You’re a wonderful angel lifesaver and I don’t deserve your friendship.”

“I’m so fucking pissed at you.”

“So good to see you!” Sylvain kissed Dimitri’s cheek. “How about I treat you guys to that place, the expensive one, what is it?”

Dimitri shrugged, “I don’t know, I don’t know this area very well.”

“Make sure to drink water,” Felix said, pushing him out the door.

Just before Felix closed the door, Dimitri heard Sylvain say to no one in particular, “Wait, when did my shirt get wet?”

Then, silence fell. Dimitri sighed. “Well. I may as well get tissues.”

“Still?” Felix raised an eyebrow. “Maybe you should see a doctor about that.”

Dimitri blushed. “No, not - of course not.” Clearing his throat, he muttered, “But if this is what happens when I don’t have a box of tissues in my room… Well. I would prefer it never happened again.”

Felix laughed shortly, rubbing his face. 

The bathroom was a total mess. Felix’s day clothes had been shoved in one corner, his pajamas in another, and the controversial towel tossed carelessly over all of them. Dimitri fished out a box of tissues from below the sink and tossed it onto his bed. He paused, then collected Felix’s bed clothes. He placed them carefully on the kitchen counter. “Here you are.”

“Thanks,” Felix eyes now fixed on the counter. He sighed wearily. “I should go to bed. I wouldn’t be surprised if at least half of this overwhelming urge to kill is just lack of sleep.”

Dimitri nodded, chuckling to himself. “Of course.”

Felix hesitated, meeting Dimitri’s eye. Felix’s expressions hardly varied, so he sometimes seemed inscrutable. Still, some instinct whispered to Dimitri. Perhaps it was a terrible one, but he noticed their hands had been drawn towards each other in the middle of the counter. So, Dimitri stole Felix’s fingers, and kissed his hand. “Until tomorrow.”

Felix grasped Dimitri’s wrist, eyes searching Dimitri.

Dimitri only hesitated a moment before resting his finger under Felix’s chin. He tipped Felix’s face towards him, leaning over the counter to brush Felix’s lips with his own.

Last summer, Dimitri remembered each of them being hesitant and cautious. This time, Felix nearly vaulted the counter to close the distance. Once perched on it, Felix gripped Dimitri’s jaw, tipping Dimitri’s head back to continue. The ensuing kiss burned in ferocity.

When Dimitri moved closer to Felix, Felix released a heart-stopping gasp.

“Shit that’s _cold,_ ” Felix hissed, glancing to the door of the master bedroom.

“Sorry,” Dimitri quickly sloughed his wet T-shirt. Seeing nowhere obvious to drop it, he just let it fall on the floor next to the counter.

He looked up to Felix’s eyes lingering unapologetically on Dimitri’s chest. Felix’s eyes flicked back up to Dimitri’s. “Dima?” Felix’s voice was thick and dark and confident and questioning.

“Uh, yes?” Dimitri replied lamely.

Felix cleared his throat. “Look, I know you’re not the kind of guy who’s going to wink and invite me to your bedroom-”

Dimitri’s breath rushed out on a wave. “Goddess, I am _aching,_ I am aching for you.”

Felix flushed a brilliant crimson, the only word escaping was “...Oh.” Before Dimitri could apologize for going too far, Felix gripped his neck, whispering in his ear, “I’ll meet you in your room.”


	3. The Good Stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In perhaps the strangest turn of events, Dimitri finds that the evening some how ends with him naked along with the most beautiful man he knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think, should thirsty boy get a drink? Let's let 'em have a good time. 
> 
> Prompts: First Times, Sex Comedy - squint for Edging and Multiple Orgasm ;)

Felix snuck in Dimitri’s door with a sunglasses case of all things. When he saw Dimitri sitting on the edge of his bed wearing a pair of sweatpants, he laughed. "Only you could seduce men in sweats," he teased.

“I wasn’t sure-” Dimitri fumbled, standing quickly. “That ice water was _cold-_ ” Dimitri groaned. “What took you so long?” Rather than wrangle his words, Dimitri put his mouth to better use and surrendered to his desire to vanish into another kiss.

Felix tossed the case on the bed before relenting. Dimitri’s hands followed the intoxicating slope from Felix’s shoulder, dipping into his lower back before swelling into his backside. Dimitri felt keenly aware of each of Felix’s fingers, raking over the skin of his abdomen before pushing Dimitri’s waistband over his hip bones.

“Goddess,” Dimitri murmured. “I’ve been hoping for a moment alone with you all day,”

“No shit.” Felix looked up at Dimitri, clearing his throat. “Same.”

Dimitri pressed Felix to the door, playing with his lips. Felix consumed Dimitri as he slid his hands over Dimitri’s thighs, then backside, before sliding down again. “Look,” Felix paused, brow briefly furrowing. “I’m not some kind of fuckboy.”

“I haven’t the vaguest idea what that means,” Dimitri murmured.

Felix laughed incredulously. “Then you’re lucky.” He followed Dimitri’s spine to his shoulders. "I like you, and you should know that before…" he gestured vaguely at the growing bulge in his boxer briefs.

"Me too."

"Cool.” Felix nodded nervously, keeping Dimitri’s eye. “Then, uh, what do you think we just kiss and stroke until we come too hard to see straight?”

“Uh…” Dimitri stared breathlessly for a moment. "Let's."

No sooner had Felix shed his tank than Dimitri pushed Felix onto his bed. Felix’s skin sparked on Dimitri’s fingertips as he explored the beautiful lines of his chest. Felix lifted his hips, and Dimitri easily dispatched his boxer briefs. The muscles of his abdomen pointed to the prize - Felix’s already rising manhood.

“No fair,” Felix murmured darkly, yanking Dimitri to the bed. “I haven’t even seen you naked yet.”

“Of course,” Dimitri murmured. Felix dragged his fingers from Dimitri’s collarbone to waistband, dragging off his sweats and tossing them to the floor. They met in the middle of the bed, Felix’s legs parted to either side of Dimitri’s hips. He picked up the mysterious sunglasses case.

“Is this some sort of fetish?” Dimitri asked curiously.

“Please.” Felix popped it open with a smirk. “Lubrication is everyone’s fetish.” No sunglasses to be found. Instead, the case contained a handful of condoms and a tube of lubricant. “Now get your damn hands on me.” He squeezed some on his hand before tossing Dimitri the tube. “You look delicious and it has been a _day_.”

Dimitri obeyed. Hard enough to do, since Felix didn’t bother waiting for Dimitri to put down the vessel before stealing his mouth for a kiss. He knelt across from Dimitri, chin tipped up to keep his lips. His hands were nimble and intentional as he worked Dimitri’s length.

The sensation electrified him.

Dimitri fumbled for Felix’s shaft, caressing it from base to tip. Felix broke the kiss, gasping, “Your grip _-”_

Dimitri tested a little extra pressure, and Felix’s fingers dug into Dimitri’s bicep. “Too much?” he asked.

“It’s fucking incredible.”

“I’m loving the feel of your...” Dimitri paused, swallowing. “...manhood.”

Felix barked out a laugh. “Do you actually call it that, or are you too shy to say the other ones?”

Dimitri ignored the question, sneaking a taste just below Felix’s jaw. Dimitri thought he could trace where his hand was on Felix’s member to the rise and fall of Felix’s chest. His breaths came heavy as Dimitri travelled Felix’s shaft, and caught quietly when Dimitri glided over his head. When Dimitri sped his pace, Felix’s face contorted with pleasure.

Felix looked so undone. Then again, another stirring stroke from Felix probably had Dimitri looking much the same.

“I don’t know how it’s possible, but you look better than you did in my dream,” Dimitri murmured.

“Wait,” Felix’s voice broke to a maddening whimper. “Your dream was about me?” 

“It wasn’t the first time,” Dimitri admitted shyly. He sighed as Felix’s palm glided over his tip. He returned the favor, paying particular attention to the ridge where his shaft met his head.

Felix seized Dimitri for a clumsy kiss. “You have no _business_ being this fucking _hot_ -!”

Goddess, how was it so arousing to know he had made Felix writhe? “At some point, I-” Dimitri paused, enjoying the wave of pleasure quivering through him. “It’s like I opened a door that I hadn’t realized had been closed, and ever since I have gotten very familiar with those dreams.”

“Shit, your hands, how are your hands just-” Felix grit his teeth as Dimitri picked up speed. Felix looked so helpless. Dimitri had never seen Felix’s face like this. Whatever he felt must have been intense - both his hands leaped to Dimitri’s shoulder blades. “If you don’t slow down I’m going to come all over you.”

Dimitri murmured, “I’m excited to see the face you make when you do.”

In a manner, Dimitri didn’t get his wish. When Felix came, he pulled Dimitri down to bury his face against Dimitri’s neck. In exchange, however, Dimitri felt every ragged breath quaking from Felix’s chest. Dimitri could hear the groan that lingered in Felix’s throat, long and low and shaky. Felix clutched him hard enough to hurt. He ebbed and flowed before whimpering, “Shit, Dima.”

That sound would certainly appear in a future dream.

“Holy Hell,” Felix said shakily. He lingered for a moment against Dimitri’s neck. His fingers softened against the edge of Dimitri’s hairline. “I swear, I haven't forgotten you, I just.. just a second." He grabbed a handful of tissues to clean up before dropping to the bed.

Dimitri let out a long slow breath, cleaning his own abdomen. “Well, fuck,” Dimitri said.

Felix laughed in surprise. “The absolute cluster that was tonight was worth it.” Felix stretched his handsome limbs. “I got to hear you say ‘fuck.’”

“That was the part that made it worth it?” Dimitri marvelled. He drank in the sight of Felix lounging like a cat. He stole his fingers over Felix's hip and followed up his firm thigh to rest on his knee. “I'm in utter disbelief. I’m naked, in bed, with the most beautiful man I know.”

Felix’s laugh softened, but lingered in his smile. “Get over here.” He pulled Dimitri over him. “I’m kissing the shit out of you.”

Dimitri straddled Felix’s hips, his member swollen and trailing against the inside of Felix’s thigh. Still, the change in character from Felix’s kiss distracted him. Less urgent, less clumsy. Sweeter, almost - and no less stirring.

Dimitri had no sense of when Felix refreshed the lube on his hands, but Felix's thumb pressed firmly over the vein on the underside of Dimitri’s member. Whatever sound Dimitri made disappeared into a hum in their kiss.

“You don’t have to go so _slow_ ,” Dimitri murmured.

“What,” Felix raised a challenging eyebrow. “You got somewhere better to be?”

Dimitri laughed helplessly. “Is there anywhere better to be?”

“You’re ridiculous,” Felix smirked. Both of his hands now moved along Dimitri’s length. He would sweep from base to tip, curve over Dimitri’s head, and the other hand would already be following..The pleasure mounted, unyielding. Felix had to be teasing him. There was no other explanation for how damn slow he moved. 

“Felix, I…” Dimitri drew a shaky breath, pressing his face to Felix’s neck. “I just need release.” 

“Why rush?” Felix’s voice came dark and dizzying. “When you come I’m going to make you black out and forget your name.”

“Your-” Dimitri gripped the back of Felix’s neck. Another wave of pleasure crested to his chest. “Your standard could be much lower,” he whimpered. Dimitri had spent so much of the day struggling against the longing, that feeling so close to completion felt unbearable. “P-please," he rasped against Felix's throat. "I’m s-so close!”

Felix sighed thoughtfully, before saying perhaps the sexiest words he could: “Fine. I'll save the teasing for next time.”

_Next time._

It took very little adjustment to send Dimitri over the edge. He shivered as the overwhelming rush flooded through him on a long, shaky wail.

Felix caught the sound with a kiss. One hand still travelled Dimitri's length, the other had the foresight to press a tissue to his tip.

A few waves of pleasure crested through Dimitri before it stopped, the frenzy fading to peace.

Dimitri slumped over his partner. His cheek rested on the bed, his nose against Felix’s neck. The aroma of coconut and shea butter still lingered, mingled with something distinctly Felix. 

“You may have succeeded,” Dimitri murmured weakly. “I believe I forgot my name.”

Felix’s fingers lazily trailed in Dimitri’s hair. “Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd.”

Dimitri smiled against Felix’s neck. “Very helpful, thank you.” He sighed, warmly sinking into his body’s satisfied thrum. “Today would have been infinitely better had I known this was how it would end.”

Felix’s chest quaked under Dimitri’s arm with a quiet laugh. “What in the actual fuck was today?”

Dimitri nuzzled against the curve between Felix’s shoulder and throat. “Today was perfect,” he mused.

Felix’s groan must have been teasing - at the same moment the annoyed sound escaped, he had found Dimitri’s hand and entwined their fingers. “Are you always this absurd of a boyfriend?”

Dimitri sat up in surprise. “Boyfriend?”

Felix raised an eyebrow. “I said I’m not a fuckboy-”

Dimitri laughed as he stole a kiss. “I still don’t know what that means.”

Felix relaxed into it, pushing Dimitri’s hair back from his face. “If you’re in, I’m in.”

“I’m all yours,” Dimitri said. His smile cracked into a grin as he examined Felix, clean lines of his face obscured by his disheveled hair and easy smile.

“Good. Now that’s decided,” Felix’s smile faded to a smirk as he grabbed the lube. “Want to get me again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next, Dimitri as giddy as a school girl getting interrogated by a heavily hung over Glenn about the events of That Fateful Night.


	4. The Afterglow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dimitri is flying high on Cloud 9 after spending the night with Felix and getting a boyfriend out of it. Of course, Glenn with a hangover and a suspicious Ingrid make for a somewhat uncertain morning.

Dimitri had been grinning from the moment he woke. He grinned when he stole a loud kiss on Felix’s neck. He grinned when Felix had groaned through the spray of his hair, muttering “You are such a dork.” Dimitri grinned when he reminded Felix that he had spent the night with this dork. And of course, he grinned when Felix sighed and muttered, “Worse. I enjoyed it.”

Dimitri pulled himself away from his warm and tousled _boyfriend_ to squeeze in his morning run. In the fresh light, everything glowed with soft beauty. When Dimitri returned to the cabin, his body felt refreshed, his smile free, and his heart soothed. Dimitri glanced to the broken fridge dispenser, grinned again, and filled his glass from the tap.

Glenn groaned as he lumbered into the room. His hair, though not as long as Felix’s, managed to be more unkempt.

“Good morning,” Dimitri said brightly.

“Saints, it’s too morning for that.” Glenn propped his elbows on the counter. “I swear, I don’t remember shit from last night…”

“You were having fun when I left,” Dimitri assured him. He filled another glass of water and held it out to Glenn.

“Oh. Thanks man.” Glenn shook his head, as though it might shake away the hangover. “Iggie hopped in the shower, she should be here soon.”

“How is Ingrid faring this morning?” Dimitri asked, taking a sip.

Glenn’s bloodshot eyes peered up through messy hair. “Compared to me or compared to how she normally is?”

Dimitri chuckled. “The latter I suppose.”

Glenn groaned again, rubbing his forehead. “Pretty rough.”

Ingrid swept into the room, wet hair braided up. She wore a loose, long tank top over yoga pants. “Good morning Dimitri!” She smiled warmly, approaching the counter. “You look refreshed!”

“Sated” felt more apt. “Did you have fun after I left?” Dimitri asked.

Ingrid opened her mouth to reply, but she paused and furrowed her brow. “Why did someone leave their clothes on the kitchen counter?”

“Hah!” Dimitri hadn’t noticed Felix’s pajamas, still wadded on the edge of the island. “I’m afraid I have to take responsibility for that one.”

“Is that… a toothbrush?” Ingrid’s nose wrinkled with horror.

Dimitri cleared his throat, hiding a laugh. “It was a strange night!” He excused himself, returning the toothbrush to the bathroom counter. He couldn’t hear anything through his door - Felix may yet be in bed.

When Dimitri approached the kitchen, he heard Glenn say, “Why did Sylvain text me that, and I quote, ‘Felix is going to murder me dead?’”

Ingrid sighed. “That’s not unusual for those two.”

They both looked up when Dimitri circled back into the kitchen.

“First,” Glenn began brusquely. “I thought you were joking about how tight your running pants are. I was clearly mistaken.”

“Thank you?” Dimitri replied, bemused. “Compression fabrics improve blood flow-”

“Second,” Glenn interrupted. “Why are you responsible for my brother’s ratty pajamas appearing on the kitchen counter?” Raising an eyebrow, he added, “I thought you were asleep.”

“I was,” Dimitri said quickly. It felt strange to volunteer the “revelation” of last night to Felix’s family while he still slept, so Dimitri shuffled through which bits of honesty he could share safely. “I woke up last night around the time Sylvain was leaving.”

Ingrid glanced at Glenn. “Do you know why Felix is pissed at Sylvain this time?”

“Perhaps?” Dimitri shook his head, lips threatening to pull into yet another smile. “Sylvain had locked Felix out of the bathroom before he finished brushing his teeth.”

“What the fuck, man,” Glenn shook his head, a touch of weariness in his voice. ”Drunk Sylvain is just nuts.”

Dimitri shrugged with a smile. “As I said, it was a strange night.”

“I’m glad you got rest,” Ingrid squeezed Dimitri’s hand. “I’ll check on Felix, see if he’s awake.”

Oh. Oh no. If Ingrid knew whose room was whose, it would be obvious that Felix spent the night half-naked in Dimitri’s bed. Was that fine? Or would it make Felix feel strange? “You just woke up, no need, I can-”

“Drink your water,” Ingrid said sternly. “You’re having a wonderful morning, and I have plenty of experience handling grumpy Felix.”

Dimitri couldn’t think of any reasonable excuse, so he said nothing.

Glenn’s voice shattered his thoughts. “Dimitri.” 

Dimitri looked back to Glenn. “Yes?” he replied politely.

“What are you hiding?” Glenn may have said it as a question, but it came out as an order. His eyes had narrowed only a touch, his gaze unwavering on Dimitri.

Dimitri forgot how much Glenn could terrify him. “P-pardon?” he dodged quietly. A door in the hallway opened and closed. Dimitri glanced away from Glenn’s steady eye.

“Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, I wasn’t finished,” Glenn snapped.

Dimitri swallowed. Why on Earth was Glenn suddenly interrogating him? “That is my name,” Dimitri replied with equal awkwardness and cheer.

“What happened last night?” he asked.

Trying for a joke, Dimitri gestured to the fridge. “Well, I broke the ice dispenser for one-”

“I don’t care about that bullshit,” Glenn said sternly. “What dumb shit did Sylvain do to my brother?”

Dimitri was surprised enough by the question he didn’t exactly know how to answer. “He hogged the bathroom and stole Felix’s towel,” Dimitri answered, honestly enough. No need for the “nuance.”

“And that’s all that happened last night?” Glenn grimaced as he rubbed his temples.

Hah. Well.

“Felix is brushing his teeth,” Ingrid called as she approached. Glancing between them, she narrowed her eyes at Glenn. “Were you bullying my unicorn again?”

Glenn snorted. “You don’t have to be a genius to know he’s hiding something.” He glanced back to Dimitri. “See? He’s bright red.”

If Dimitri wasn’t bright red before, he certainly was the moment Glenn mentioned it.

Ingrid gently gathered Glenn against her chest, running her hands through his hair. “Shhh shhh…” She met Dimitri’s eye knowingly as she dropped the hot pink leopard print towel on the counter.

Glenn wrinkled his nose. “Where the Hell did that skank towel come from?”

“The linen closet!” Dimitri replied. Too quickly, too loudly, too brightly, too everything. To keep himself from making it worse, he took a sip from his glass and looked away.

“See, Iggs, that is one suspicious motherfucker,” Glenn hissed.

Ingrid just kept petting Glenn’s hair. “Dimitri’s just a deer. A nice, gentle little deer.”

“I’m going to fucking shoot him,” Glenn muttered.

Ingrid ignored him, just drawing her fingers through his hair. “And like the sweet little deer he is, he’s frozen in terror because big scary Glenn put him on the spot.”

“I’m sorry.” Glenn sighed. “Saints, Felix has been so damn moody the past few weeks. Every time I ask him what’s up, he says ‘it’s fine,’ which means it’s not fine. And when I finally cornered him about it, he said ‘You’ll only make it weird,’ which means it’s about Sylvain.”

Ingrid glanced over Glenn’s head to Dimitri. “He’s just private,” she said eventually.

“I hate not knowing what’s going on,” Glenn complained. “Felix plays it tough, but he takes everything so personally. And Sylvain does the stupidest shit. He ghosted a girl for her mother’s birthday brunch. And one time, he broke up with a guy over text, like some kind of fuckboy.”

Ah. So that’s what fuckboy meant.

Glenn plowed forward, “So what, they break up, and I’m just supposed to believe that everything is ‘totally fine’ and that Sylvain did absolutely _nothing_ stupid?”

Felix’s voice interrupted, full of malice. “Oh good, you’re up.”

Any brotherly concern on Glenn’s face quickly disappeared into annoyance. “I’ve been up, smartass!”

Felix breezed into the room. He wore running shorts that stopped halfway up his thighs, and Dimitri’s freshman year shirt for Fhirdiad University. It had worn in enough that Dimitri could still wear it, though it was still a touch snug for him. It fit Felix effortlessly.

“Are you going to fill me in on what went down last night?” Glenn demanded.

“You left Drunk Sylvain unsupervised and he wreaked havoc.” Felix stole Glenn’s glass of water, taking a sip. “I’ve been thinking all night about how best to get my revenge-”

“Really,” Ingrid feigned shock. “ _All_ night?”

Felix narrowed his eyes at Ingrid without pausing. “Glenn, do you remember what you told me the first time I got a hangover?”

A smirk caught Glenn’s lips, but he said nothing.

“He said the best cure for a hangover is exercise,” Ingrid whispered. “It was not.”

“Hey,” Glenn sniggered. “Felix made it two whole blocks before he threw up, and now he’s a better man for it.”

“Then get in your running clothes,” Felix snapped. The sharpness had dulled to a touch of either good humor, smugness, or a mix of the two. “I’m going to make you a better man, assface.” 

Glenn scowled, moving away from Ingrid. “Fine.” He stood over Felix, crossing his arms. “One condition.”

“You don’t get conditions for revenge,” Felix snorted.

Glenn stared down Felix. “If I keep up with you the whole time, then you tell me _exactly_ what went down last night.”

Felix narrowed his eyes. “But I set the pace.”

“Sure.” Scoffing, Glenn added, “I’m not worried.”

“Oh ho, big words, old man!” Felix crossed his arms sneering, “You’re on.”

Not another word was spoken until Glenn closed the door to the master bedroom.

“Say, Dimitri,” Ingrid stroked her chin thoughtfully. “Is Felix wearing your shirt?”

Dimitri cleared his throat. “So he is.”

Felix rolled his eyes. “She knows damn well I’m wearing your shirt. She caught me coming out of your room wearing this and my underwear. She was so smug when she said, ‘Looks like a very nice night.’”

Ingrid smiled affectionately. “I ship it.”

“It looks better on you,” Dimitri said. A blush blossomed on his cheeks.

Perhaps Felix might have looked intimidating with his swift approach and accusing finger, but his smile had nowhere to hide on his face. “If you get any more damn adorable, you’re going to summon cartoon birds in here,” he warned.

Dimitri held up his hands. “I can assure you there is no risk of that. If that were possible, I would have summoned them on my jog when I grinned like a fool the entire time.”

Dimitri may have broken Ingrid. The only sound that escaped was a high-pitched squeak.

Come to think of it, he may also have broken Felix. Felix struggled against his smile as he whispered urgently, “Mute the cute, Prince Charming!” He glanced to the door, then back to Dimitri with a mischievous glimmer. “I have a plan, and we have precious little time to mess with Glenn before one of us idiots gives up the game!” Felix pointed sternly to Ingrid, “That goes double for you.”

Ingrid's only reply was another squeak.

“Good enough.” Felix held up a finger to his lips slipping over to the master bedroom door. “Come on asshole,” he said sharply. “You’re not getting out of this by making me inpatient.”

“Just a minute, dickbag!” Glenn shouted through the door.

Felix snickered as he jogged over to Dimitri. He regained his composure in time for Glenn to emerge from the master. “Let’s get this fucking show on the road,” Glenn replied under his breath.

“Awesome.” Felix looked up to Dimitri slyly. “We’ll be back in about fifteen, handsome.”

Then, Felix kissed him. He casually and effortlessly pressed his lips to Dimitri’s as though that were an entirely normal thing to do. He lingered longer than a quick peck, long enough to be intimate. Still, it felt much, much too short.

“We’ll be back sooner if Glenn barfs,” Felix smirked.

Dimitri’s smile must have looked delirious and ridiculous all at once. “Wonderful?” he replied, stealing his thumb over the edge of Felix’s chin.

Glenn gawked for a moment. “I knew you were hiding something, you damn unicorn deer!”

Felix roughly opened the door, shouting just before he disappeared, “Are you going to stand there like an idiot, Glenn, or are you going to try and keep up?” 

Glenn barged after him, shouting, “You are such a fucking bag of dicks!”

The door closed wearily behind the two brothers.

“I’m happy for you,” Ingrid said. She patted Dimitri’s hand. “It’s about time.”

And that was all she said on the matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for hanging with me! This is so far the longest cohesive thing I've written. I've very much enjoyed having the opportunity to give these characters some fun. Some good, clean... NSFW fun.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
